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The Victim Becomes The Villain Without Healing


I just entered into what I believe will be my last chapter of Me Too: A Therapist’s Journey to Heal From Complex Trauma, Find Liberation & Joy and each step of near complexion, starting with “traumas aftermath,” that is, what happened after my lived experience with trauma, has made me see just how much damage I had done to myself, and other people over the years. As the saying goes, hurt people, hurt people, and it is deeply true.

Facing myself in this way broke my heart over and over and over again, and yet, in order to tell the fullness of the cycle trauma, I couldn’t omit the ways I have harmed. So in spite of how emotionally taxing this was, I simply kept coming back to write the story when I was ready.

It’s so much easier to see ourselves as victims alone when we have been victims & survivors of abuse, but much harder to see the harm that we too, have done. To show up in the world with love, pure love, without a violent act or word spouted is a constant practice that is only heightened when trauma is present.

Living in truth means completely owning our truths – all of them – and ultimately not seeing ourselves as victim or villain, but simply human – from a level of neutrality where we both own the work that’s ours, and are loving to oneself in the process.

Facing ourselves is far from easy, not to mention scary as hell, but the alternative is to live much smaller than we’re destined to, and miss out on only the richness that can come from living an authentic life.

The beautiful thing is you’re not alone. We can help you step more fully into your authenticity with the bountiful offerings we have coming up. The virtual Global Be My Sisters Keeper Community kicks off May 12, our next day retreat is on May 27th, and our Group Mastermind Coaching Program starts on June 16. And you can even get on a coaching call with me so you can get a taste of the power of coaching – just click here to schedule. As always, if you’re a Kalamazoo County woman, up to full needs based scholarships are available. To quickly apply click here.

You know I’ve always got you. Let’s chat to see what kind of authentic life we can create together. Click here to schedule a consultation.

There is nothing more beautiful than authenticity,

Demarra West


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